Guess Who's Back?

It is a beautiful thing to come into one's own again after being away for so long. I have just come from a conversation that I think I would have found very distressing for a grand portion of this year and I don't really care. Hell, I was practically accused of rape, and I don't really care. I'm smiling. See, I've returned to my beautiful Zen of not giving a shit about what people think of me. There are always exceptions to this rule, but to be so is a privilege granted to few, and not entirely to anyone. I don't have to prove myself. I've been sick for so long, I'd forgotten what it was like to be me. I remember how much people would wonder at how happy I was most of the time, and usually I simply shrugged it off as there being no reason why I should be sad (though certainly many reasons for which I could be), but there is another part of it. When I am myself, truly and fully inhabiting and manifesting what it is to be myself, being me is a wonderful thing! Being sick for so long,I'd forgotten that I'm actually a highly capable human being. There is a lot I have to do, but I'm not stressed by it anymore, because my confidence in my ability to take care of what I have to do has been restored. I'm not distressed by this recent business with Yoshi because he really doesn't matter to me. I'm done. I have no need for someone who has treated me and regarded me in such a manner.
Lordy Lou, but Jane Austen is unhealthy for my writing. I've been reading Mansfield Park for my Early Novel lecture, and it's seeping in. Based on what I'd heard about the book before reading it, I thought that I would hate Fanny Price, but I don't. I just feel really bad for Fanny. Everyone is a dick to her.
Hee. That's another word I got condemned for using. Dick. Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. I'm a dick, you're a dick, she's a dick, he's a dick, they are dicks, together we are all dicks.
Mmm. I need to avoid going to bed so early. Hopefully I can sleep again now that I've faffed about for a few hours. If not, I'll get some work done.
Here is a philosophy: Do what you will, and the world will come to you.
So long as you are doing.
Hahaaaa!