Is it Spring yet? How 'bout now?

So, I tried to read Phédre last night and somehow ended up writing a 3 page letter to a friend instead. Hmm.
The Neo-Futurist thing we're doing with Cabaret this week is good. I like it. I can see what I want from my disappearing into a book sketch way clearly, and things aren't too bad I guess, but... I don't know. Sometimes, I can't eat. It isn't even always a matter of being hungry, it's... fear I guess. I think it's just the food here. I really don't feel like I can trust it.
I had a zombie dream recently. What the hell?
Last night was drifty though. I do that more than I used to. Sleep used to come so easily. I probably don't exercise enough. There are a lot of things that I don't do enough. There simply isn't time enough.
My new Venetian key chain makes me happy, it chinks well in my pocket, and it is good to have a mask around, even a tiny one, as they are about as close to literal magic as we find in this world.
My life has started doing that thing again, where it starts taking patterns and symbols and formatting itself like a film or novel. To some extent it always does it, but it was very intense for a lot of high school in a way that had faded a little until recently. Well, maybe not. Actually, I think I'm just aware of it again. I don't know.
I was gloomy this morning because the weather was and I've been having trouble dealing with the lack of sunlight when everything in me says it should be spring NOW, but I felt better later because it was warm at least and still beautiful. I think we get what we want once we are satisfied with what we have, a lot of the time, because, low and behold, the sky cleared up a bit before sunset to over me a shining, moving, masterpiece of a cloudscape for a couple hours.


I miss my family. I ran up to Sam Monaco today and thanked him for making someone I love happy and he seemed pleasantly surprised. I like him. He's much better than anyone else she's dated, and cuter and a better musician to boot. He reacts well to my weird. This speaks well of his open-mindedness. Also, in spite of being Ben's friend and roommate he agrees that he is an asshole especially in regards to me, and this is endearing. It was funny when Danielle was pretending not to like him. I mean, honestly, he wrote her a GOOD song, clearly there was nothing left but for her to be putty in his hands. That's just life.