She's so

HEEEAAAAAAAVVVVVYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I saw Across the Universe for the first time last night. I know that it isn't a great piece of storytelling or anything, but truth be told, I really enjoyed it. Also, I actually thought that they were decent Beatles covers.
I was actually pretty upset for a large portion of the day. Not that surprising I guess. I've spent a lot of this year being sick and sad, but I'm feeling a better. I really had the itch.
I'm developing more of an appreciation for drawing from life than I had before. There is something really satisfying about capturing what's before you through your self.
I'm starting to wonder whether it's possible for truly brilliant people to be happy.
No... I think they can... but I think it is much harder in a lot of cases.
I was talking to Ilian this weekend, about the doubts I've had about humanity in general, and I don't remember which part of me I was talking about, but I wondered to him whether maybe I would have been better off without it. He said, "There are a lot of things that would make you better off that wouldn't necessarily make you better."
There is no one who breaks my heart so easily simply by being sad. He doesn't say things that are super melodramatic or anything, but he has true eloquence and brilliance, and... he's been sad for so long. Of course, part of the effect comes from how much I love him, but I really believe he is a singular human being. He is the subject of someone's brilliant novel.
I had a moment yesterday, where I felt, more than anything, that all I wanted was for him to be really, really happy someday.
This is what it is to love someone.