A Full Day

I've broken the habit of writing in here, maybe because I am much happier now than I used to be. But I want to write tonight, and I don't want to be slowed by the speed of my hands. Typing is still not as fast as my mind, few things are, but it is certainly severa steps up in that particular arena. Am I being conceited? I think I am being accurate. I am far more intelligent than the majority of people, and I bear both the advantages and disadvantages of that. I like to know what I am capable of. For example: I am an excellent actress. I am a rubbish basketball player. I am very empathic and kind. I am also overly emotional and spoiled.
There. Balance. As I said to Kailyn earlier today, Life is a grand balancing act. Everything is balance. Even story is balance. That's why I hated the Pursuit of Happyness. No balance. Some artistry, yes, but no balance and a great deal of emotional manipulation and pandering to boot.
Well.
I miss people terribly. Kailyn and Caleb and Hanin and Ilian and Jaren and Danielle and Javier. I miss everyone. I miss Holden Caulfield. Ha. I miss what I have just left, even as I rejoice in having finally found the road I have craved for so many years. The problem with wishing for something with such conviction is that when you get it, even when it makes you happy, it is rarely what you dreamed.
Today is a day of grieving. It took me by surprise. The morning was one of happy lazy-active summeriness, just as the rest of the weekend was. The tears hit me by surprise.
I miss my Grandpa. I love my Grandpa.
There is a taughtness across the roof of my mouth sometimes when I cry. I wonder what it stems from.